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From the Cats, Books & Life blog of author Angela Verdenius, comes the
tales of her kitties. The naughtiest of the lot is Evie aka Eve of Destruction
aka Evil Evie, a small torti & white cat who causes chaos in the once-quiet
lives of the Verdenius household. She turned up as a wee kitty and life was
never the same…
So, for those who already know of Evie and the antics of the furries,
here it all is for your enjoyment! For those who have yet to discover
this furry mob, well…good luck….
(WARNING: contains photos of criminal evidence of the furry mob who rule the house)
So, a late entry. Something I promised myself was never going to happen. Geez, that didn’t take long, did it?! But I have my reasons, honestly! A few things have happened here, but today, let me fill you in on the main one.
Eve of Destruction, of course. (You really expected anything else? Seriously?)
Firstly, Evie was sterilised last Friday. Yes, the deed was done, and apparently not too soon. When I picked her up, my vet informed me that Evie looked like she’d been coming on heat. Hussy. Ye gods, that sweet, innocent, darling little – oh, who am I kidding? The little harlot was coming onto heat!
Now I admit I was a coward. I organised the whole thing so that I came off night shift at the hospital and only had time to race home, pick up Evie, and take her straight to the vet. Yes, I made Mum do the nasty deed of fasting Evie and listening to her meowing piteously from the bedroom that “Everyone has forgotten me and I’m so alone and unlooooooooved! And starving!” Yes, I admit to being a coward and underhanded. (Boo, hiss) BUT I had to do the deed! I had to take the poor frightened baby to the vet in the car, and when we got there she was shaking and cringing and trying to hide under the towel. She kept looking at me as though to say “But I’m not allowed outside! I want GRANNY!”
I felt so low. I kissed and cuddled her at the vet before they took her away, and then I went home feeling lower than a slug’s belly (and let me tell you, that’s low). I didn’t sleep well, waiting for a phone call that would bring bad news (I hate any of the furries going under anaesthetic), but low and held, there was sunshine instead! The call to say Evie was fine and could come home.
Poor baby! I picked her up along with some pain prevention medication and took the angel home. She rubbed the side of her face against my fingers through the bars of the cage while I cooed and oohed and baby-talked to the widdle angel. “Who’s Mummy’s angel? Who’s the widdle darling, den? Tum and wub my finger. Dere dere, widdle baby.” Etc etc.
Got home, fed the angel, watched her take an experimental munch on a stitch and then wash herself…and then right before my eyes, it morphed. The widdle angel disappeared and Eve of Destruction was back with a vengeance. She took off like a shot and ran wild through the house, leaping over Lily, racing across the sofa, hiding under the blanket to leap out and scare the living daylights out of Theo. “Frightened the life out of me,” he said, as he crawled back under the blanket and sulked.
This kitten never looked back. She kept jumping and falling off the kitchen bench while I was preparing dinner, she leaped straight up the pantry to the top, she jumped from the sink to the ‘fridge…Evie was back full force, no ‘beg-your-pardons’ or ‘I feel a little ill, think I’ll rest’. Oh no, Eve of Destruction was back!
It’s now Tuesday and the little villain has been trying to implicate me in her latest planned crime. Yes, you heard right. She’s trying to make me her accomplice. I know you’re shocked, but let me explain…
We’re currently in the middle of having the house painted (hence the reason why this is the first time I’ve managed to get to the computer and internet), and so saying, our dining room table and chairs are in the middle of the lounge. Evie thinks this is great, because she has been sitting on the table eye-balling the top of the lounge room cupboards – “‘Cause there’re vases and flowers right at the very top, you know!” she says, eyes bright and nose pink and whiskers quivering in excitement.
I do know. I also know she hasn’t been able to get up there yet. However, when I sat down to have breakfast, she about busted her stitches trying to get onto my shoulder to leap up to the top of the cupboards. I spent the whole time I was eating with one hand warding her off while trying to scoff down my cereal without choking. The little villain was determined to use my shoulder as her launching pad. She was going to make me her accomplice in her planned crime! She is a villain, I tell you, a villain! I know her other plan. I’d get the blame, being the big human and everything, after all, a widdle angel like her couldn’t get up on the big cupboard unless I’d helped her.
I just have to be wary of what Eve of Destruction is plotting next…
copyright Angela Verdenius